Backdrop:

Attitude is more of mental construct as to one’s perception about himself / herself and others. Happy persons are found to have “good feeling” about themselves as well as the surroundings and others.  This is more important for elders as old age is usually synonymous with difficulties, agonies and often considered as a painful phase of life. Elders think life as listless, pungent, and devoid of energy; they pass time as it comes and that makes life duller. There is a counterpoint: old life is full of joy devoid of all worldly responsibilities and therefore, should be enjoyed to the hilt. It is a phase of life that should be considered a “Gift of God” for the purpose of enjoyment alone. This feeling changes whole perspective of looking at “elder life”. Pains related to physical and mental ailments commonly associated with old age will be replaced with a sense of joy with this phase of life being full of happiness.

This requires big transition of “attitude towards life”. One must appreciate that life is a journey that is full of its own stories of happiness as well as sorrows. Death is also inevitable. The best way to lead life is to enjoy our time at the planet as happily and gracefully as possible. “If winter comes, can spring be far behind”, should be the axiom we must believe in, whenever we are in problem.

Drivers of Happiness:

The drivers of happiness are both within and outside. An elder must try to follow a lifestyle and engage in activities that result in happiness even in times of difficulties.

Some of the positive ways of looking at life that might generate happy feelings among elders include:

• Be always connected: Withdrawal, seclusion and loneliness are the common problems associated with old age. These are the root causes of all emotional issues. One way to counter them is to willfully try to remain connected with all: whom we know and whom we may not know by making friendship with them. The former includes family members, childhood / school / college friends, earlier office colleagues. The other bigger group could be making new friendships, may be with people of the housing society where we live or becoming member of different hobby clubs like walking or music clubs, etc. Senior citizen clubs are an excellent way of developing friendship with like-minded people. Our experience at My Retired Life MRL has been excellent. Members have developed deep friendship over physical / virtual meeting for 3 to 6 months and they continue enjoying companionship. This “staying connected approach” is a powerful tool to develop happy hormones as the people find solace and happiness in company of others and often forget their own problems.

• Remain active: One of the biggest problems at old age is that people do not continue to be as active as they were earlier while in service. They tend to slow down both physically and mentally. This inertia leads to physical and mental slowdown and thus they lose interest as well as propensity to do things. This lack of activity results in all types of physical illness and reduced cognitive ability. The only way in life is to “work and work” both physically as well as mentally, whatever you can and till you can. Whether it is walking or cycling or undertaking light physical exercise like, yoga, etc., these must be done a regular basis. Similarly, daily mental activities like meditation keeps mind cool as well as active. This “activeness” leads to feeling of “goodness” which is extremely important tin life. I must feel good about me and everything around me if I am to be happy.

• Find purpose of life: After having retired from active life and being faced with difficulties associated with old age, elders often lose love for life. This loss of passion to live cuts down their life expectancy. The only way to counter this is to develop a new meaning of life. Finding a new purpose of life will refuel the passion and direct activities. This is what is often called SECOND LIFE. This whole concept of second life is to live again; this will create all the passion and keenness to live with the set goals in mind. The type of purpose will significantly differ from person to person: it can be service to society, living a meaningful life, do all those things one could not do earlier like travelling, etc., or can be as simple as learning a new language or hobbies, etc. The whole approach of finding a purpose in life will invigorate the elderly to live longer to fulfill the goals.

• Develop EQ & AQ: Old age is often associated with various ailments, both physical & mental. Besides lifestyle and medication, a strong self-belief is necessary to come out of the same. We often hear cases elders suffering from fractures and never recouping from it and that being beginning of the end. Similar is the case with mental issues arising out of anxiety and loneliness. To face this turmoil in life, elders must develop strong emotional quotient (EQ) that will allow them to manage their emotions and keep them calm amidst worst possible difficulties. Similarly, a strong adversity quotient (AQ) will enable them to rebound from all troubles and come back to normal self. As we grow old, our resolve comes down; hence, a calculated and determined resolve to garner both EQ & AQ will make elders face difficulties and rebound, to the extent possible.

• Developing philosophical attitude: All of us know that it is a difficult world with attendant problems and turbulences. But there is no point in getting embroiled with agonies of life arising out of factors that are beyond our control. Say for example, death of a near relative. One must accept that death is a reality, and it might lead to “Salvation” or “Moksha” of the individual. One must, therefore, appreciate the reality and move on in life. While it is difficult to forget the memory of a near and dear person, but that is the true reality: “one who is born is destined to die”.

Conclusion:

Purpose of life is to lead a meaningful, useful, productive, and socially sensitive life. We are born to take care of ourselves as well as others around us. And all these cannot happen if we are not happy. Unhappiness or sadness does not lead to anything meaningful; it has only a destructive role. Therefore, the very “purpose of living” is to live happily and make a world where all can stay happily together. Let us together lead a happy life.