Backdrop:
Life has often been described as a journey that has its own ups and downs, happiness & sorrows and so with good & bad moods of people. But the true essence of life is to “experience” the same as it comes as many of the events are unpredicted, destined and not within our control. These only provide us with “stimuli of different kinds”. If it is marriage of a close relative, it is a happy stimulus; so is when it is the birthday of a child in family. But there could be moments of unhappiness & devastation; death of someone close could be a “sad stimulus”. We as individuals have no control on any of these stimuli. We have only control over how we respond to them particularly the “unhappy stimuli”. We may get sad, dejected, anxious, depressed, lonely, desperate: that is one way of looking at them and related behavioral manifestations. Or alternatively, we may consider them as “inevitable events of destiny” and move on slowly getting them over.
Stimulus and Response:
The theory of stimulus and response thus becomes crucial in life. While we do not have “control” on the former, we have “full powers” on our response. In other words, we can choose the “response option” depending on “how” and “what” we see in each event of life. Given a “sorrowful event” that generates a “sad response” is the simplest way to respond. However, that does not lead us to anywhere and therefore, wise people respond to such an event in a positive manner and console themselves as another event in life and move on.
Secret of Happiness of an Elder:
There lies the secret of happiness in life. If you want to be happy, enjoy every bit of life: both its good and bad moments. It is difficult to enjoy the bad moments of life; one needs to overcome the grief as early as possible, move on and be happy with the remaining part of life. This is always a better way of traversing in life rather than getting submerged in past grief history and stuck in the mud. We have seen some of our members (names not mentioned) not being able to come out of certain grief incidents in their life (loss of spouse or children) and going into a zone of loneliness, anxiety, and depression. But we also have stories of our members (names not mentioned) who could overcome the past sorrows quickly and moved on with their own passion and enjoying their own journeys of life. And there is nothing wrong in it as every second of life’s journey is meant to be “experienced” & “enjoyed” and not wasted.
“Happiness” and “unhappiness” are, therefore, two sides of the same coin. You can choose to be “unhappy” even in good circumstances. You may be healthy, mentally strong but may be envious of the next-door neighbor and be unhappy. On the contrary, you may not be physically great, mentally ok, financially not very strong but still feel happy by helping others as you think that is the right way to spend life. Happiness or choice of being happy is, therefore, an option that is at the discretion of an individual. We can choose to be happy at everything in life: good or bad thinking that life is a journey that must be “traveled through” being in the company of both the times of joys and sorrows. At the same time, we can also opt to be unhappy.
The above aspect of life is more pertinent to elders as they are more likely to pass through the phase of life that is not happy or enjoyable. As we grow old, so do others who are our contemporaries. The news of falling health or serious diseases or death of the family members / friends is a common thing we will come across as an elder. How we remain calm and composed and tide over the sorrows and move on is the biggest challenge of life. The test of leveraging the right option to respond, therefore, becomes crucial as we grow older.
Conclusion:
The only way one can be happy is to develop a sense of enjoyment in whatever we see or feel or do. People who enjoy in what they do are, by and large, happy. If people do not enjoy what they do or they feel uncomfortable in doing a thing, they feel unhappy. The best way to live life is, therefore, is to enjoy every bit of it. Chirpings of the bird, sound of falling rain, barking of a pet dog, smile of a small bay, sunshine outside, wrinkle on the face of an old lady, excitement of a sports competition, gracious movement in classical dances, classical or film songs, everything in life is a thing to enjoy. What we cannot enjoy is possibly the sad things happening around us. We must try to overcome the sad feelings and come back into our “enjoyment zone” to proceed in life.
To sum up we can say, happy people are those who enjoy life to the full. We are born to enjoy; let us enjoy life despite its problems and issues.